Jan. 7th, 2012

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THIS IS WHY WE NEED HUNTERS.

When I've talked to people from non-deer states who don't understand hunting, I've told them a story from a few years back of a guy who hit a deer on the freeway, sending it across the median and into another guy's windshield, killing him (the second guy). This is even better evidence that DEER ARE OUT TO GET US. Or, at least, that deer and people attempting to share the same space is a bad idea -- for the people.

I know that we're responsible for this: we killed off the deer's natural predators, and we expanded into its natural habitat. But, understanding this, we are now responsible for culling the population and encouraging the deer to stay away from us. Hence: hunting season.

We're working on reintroducing wolves, but let's bear in mind that we don't want to reintroduce them into populated areas. There are still plenty of areas in Michigan where wolves can go about their business without much trouble, and kill deer as they see fit, but in other areas? Well, we need to handle the deer, because we sure don't want to have to handle wolves.

Don't get me wrong: I like deer just fine. I love to see them in the woods. But on a public thoroughfare? That's a problem. And, as I learned last year at a party, deer are also delicious.* So let's manage the population ourselves, since we fucked up the natural process. It's the least we can do.

*At this party, out in the county, some attendees saw a car clip a deer in the head and continue on. Midwest rules say if you kill a deer with your car, it's yours, no matter if it's out of season or not; as the driver didn't seem to want it, the partygoers took it, strung it up, and did their best at field-dressing it without proper hunting knives. This was late in the night, but the grill was still hot, so we had fresh venison steaks. Rather gristly, due to the impromptu butchery, but very tasty regardless.

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